This piece causes me to reconsider every persuasive argument I've tried to make to get many in the tribe of American evangelical Christianity to confront unchristian behavior within their own ranks before calling out anyone outside.
I thought the pursuit of humility, self-correction, and winsomeness in the interest of having a good reputation with outsiders and winning souls for Christ was the whole point. Instead, it's about winning favor with the tribe by "owning" the outsiders. Their witness to the world is the least of their concerns.
I guess these are the sorts of realizations that put the sting in “apocalypse.” So many revelations. Thank you for sharing this one here, friend, as painful as it is.
Amen, and amen. Dear Jesus, give me strength through your grace to be the anti-bully, anti-narcissist, anti-gaslighter etc. Let me love others and lift them to the light. Understanding that I cannot control what direction they choose to look, let me still love and lift. Thank you for this word.
You've pulled a whole bunch of good together into a great collective observation here. And this is a great companion piece to the reflection Wade Mullen just published over at Pellucid, too, on stigmas: I think you're helping answer the question, "So what do people with integrity actually DO when the scales fall from their eyes?" ...which puts me in mind of occular astigmatism, now, too. Ah, the metaphorical possibilities!
Thank you for continuing to stand as one of the brave ones willing to do the work.
Spot on! Seeking to own the enemy rather than to engage the opposition is a corruption of the Gospel mandate. Thanks for the "Eat This Book" quote. Loved his entire spiritual theology series.
The number of gatekeepers whom I look askance at continues to increase. Self-serving political messaging, unblushing sexual hypocrisy, and culturally pliable theology seem to rule the day. First Peter 4:17 is never far from my thoughts.
“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” AMEN. That is a word.
Well, I never! as my mom used to say. Great essay - many nails hit on the head. Once you reveal the reality it is easy to see - condemn the nasty world out there - those sinners! But never, never interrogate one’s assumptions. We are right and have the right to be right. What are our peccadillos compared to the gross sins of the world. Paint the windows rosy red in the warehouse! Jack
Sitting with a study this morning that includes the Lord’s Prayer with this “anti-bully” beauty in mind and it strikes me that forgiveness, and forgiveness in REAL TIME, is what these women were practicing. The things that typically keep me from forgiving in real time, as opposed to some time in the future when I can look back with more compassion, is offense. A few questions I asked are: is being offended a feeling? Is saying “I am offended” like saying “I am sad?” Would it help to catch this as a feeling instead of a statement, as if it were a fact, and to substitute “I am offended,” (even if this is said in my own head) with “I am feeling offended,” or even “I am feeling prideful,” in order to submit these thoughts to Christ and let Him turn me toward forgiveness and anti-bullying? It also has me asking where my boundaries and my offenses might be getting intertwined.
Thank you for the continued inspiration! I’m grateful.
What grace these women had to forgive as they did!
I do think it’s helpful to separate how we are feeling from what was done. Think about the reality of the reverse: where people don’t feel hurt or offense when real harm was done. The objective wrong needs to be seen and not denied even if we don’t feel offended. I hope that makes sense. Just musing here. In my own life, I think I’ve tended to overlook too much because I’m not easily offended. But not being offended is not the same as forgiving, not at all. Forgiveness seems like the start of the grace these women had. But it seems even more transcendent than that in some way. But maybe that is what real forgiveness looks like—like Christ on the cross asking his father to forgive those who betrayed them.
"...I’m not easily offended. But not being offended is not the same as forgiving, not at all." Wow, I find that really searching - am I just adept at sweeping my feelings under an emotional carpet and imagining I've shown forgiveness, when all the while the rug inside my soul becomes increasingly lumpy? If real forgiveness is a difficult and often problematic act of grace then it's certainly not a personality trait. I'm really grateful for your comment, Karen, it's provoked some helpful reflection.
This piece causes me to reconsider every persuasive argument I've tried to make to get many in the tribe of American evangelical Christianity to confront unchristian behavior within their own ranks before calling out anyone outside.
I thought the pursuit of humility, self-correction, and winsomeness in the interest of having a good reputation with outsiders and winning souls for Christ was the whole point. Instead, it's about winning favor with the tribe by "owning" the outsiders. Their witness to the world is the least of their concerns.
I guess these are the sorts of realizations that put the sting in “apocalypse.” So many revelations. Thank you for sharing this one here, friend, as painful as it is.
Amen, and amen. Dear Jesus, give me strength through your grace to be the anti-bully, anti-narcissist, anti-gaslighter etc. Let me love others and lift them to the light. Understanding that I cannot control what direction they choose to look, let me still love and lift. Thank you for this word.
This is my prayer as well. Amen and amen.
Oh my goodness!! AMEN. And thank you so much. Every writer quoted is on my favorites list, and your thesis is telling, true and SO IMPORTANT.
Thank you, Diana. I admit, I posted this one in fear and trembling. It feels dark and heavy. I pray we can throw that off and see the light!
You've pulled a whole bunch of good together into a great collective observation here. And this is a great companion piece to the reflection Wade Mullen just published over at Pellucid, too, on stigmas: I think you're helping answer the question, "So what do people with integrity actually DO when the scales fall from their eyes?" ...which puts me in mind of occular astigmatism, now, too. Ah, the metaphorical possibilities!
Thank you for continuing to stand as one of the brave ones willing to do the work.
This makes me teary. Thank you for such encouraging words.
Spot on! Seeking to own the enemy rather than to engage the opposition is a corruption of the Gospel mandate. Thanks for the "Eat This Book" quote. Loved his entire spiritual theology series.
You put that so well: “seeking to OWN the enemy.” That’s exactly what is happening in too many cases!
The number of gatekeepers whom I look askance at continues to increase. Self-serving political messaging, unblushing sexual hypocrisy, and culturally pliable theology seem to rule the day. First Peter 4:17 is never far from my thoughts.
“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” AMEN. That is a word.
Well, I never! as my mom used to say. Great essay - many nails hit on the head. Once you reveal the reality it is easy to see - condemn the nasty world out there - those sinners! But never, never interrogate one’s assumptions. We are right and have the right to be right. What are our peccadillos compared to the gross sins of the world. Paint the windows rosy red in the warehouse! Jack
It’s easy for all humans in all contexts to do this. But we must fight it. And some institutions hold onto the power more than others. This we know.
Sitting with a study this morning that includes the Lord’s Prayer with this “anti-bully” beauty in mind and it strikes me that forgiveness, and forgiveness in REAL TIME, is what these women were practicing. The things that typically keep me from forgiving in real time, as opposed to some time in the future when I can look back with more compassion, is offense. A few questions I asked are: is being offended a feeling? Is saying “I am offended” like saying “I am sad?” Would it help to catch this as a feeling instead of a statement, as if it were a fact, and to substitute “I am offended,” (even if this is said in my own head) with “I am feeling offended,” or even “I am feeling prideful,” in order to submit these thoughts to Christ and let Him turn me toward forgiveness and anti-bullying? It also has me asking where my boundaries and my offenses might be getting intertwined.
Thank you for the continued inspiration! I’m grateful.
What grace these women had to forgive as they did!
I do think it’s helpful to separate how we are feeling from what was done. Think about the reality of the reverse: where people don’t feel hurt or offense when real harm was done. The objective wrong needs to be seen and not denied even if we don’t feel offended. I hope that makes sense. Just musing here. In my own life, I think I’ve tended to overlook too much because I’m not easily offended. But not being offended is not the same as forgiving, not at all. Forgiveness seems like the start of the grace these women had. But it seems even more transcendent than that in some way. But maybe that is what real forgiveness looks like—like Christ on the cross asking his father to forgive those who betrayed them.
"...I’m not easily offended. But not being offended is not the same as forgiving, not at all." Wow, I find that really searching - am I just adept at sweeping my feelings under an emotional carpet and imagining I've shown forgiveness, when all the while the rug inside my soul becomes increasingly lumpy? If real forgiveness is a difficult and often problematic act of grace then it's certainly not a personality trait. I'm really grateful for your comment, Karen, it's provoked some helpful reflection.
Glad we can provoke good questions and thought here!
*betrayed him not them.
Thank you for the link to that wonderful Brooks article! This is the way. To SEE people as Christ sees them.
You’re welcome! And thank you for reading it and reaffirming how powerful it is!
I received a comment from William in my email but can’t find it here. It was so good and meant so much. I wanted to reply.