Karen, the grief you feel at the loss of your mother will no doubt last a long time.... as it should. Even when we're prepared, we're still not prepared. And thank you for sharing this beautiful reflection, offering us a glimpse into 'pure' grief and foul. Dear God, how you have experienced the difference. Praying Jesus will be close and you'll feel His arms wrapping around you.
Look forward to your run photos and the ones of the garden, plants and flowers. Spring will be like none you’ve experienced before. Resurrection born from deep grief has weight to its joy.
I also have felt the stark difference between pure grief and foul grief. Thank you for putting this into words. I'm grateful for the light you shine in the world. You and your family are in my prayers for comfort and peace.
I hope the service was a blessing. I have attended the funerals of so many beloved relatives and friends who died in the Lord and the readings of I Thessalonians 1:13-18 always brings a sensation of joy and sorrow together:
'But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
'For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.'
The hope of that resurrection and the righting of all wrongs, is what purifies the sorrow. Thank you for your posts here, they have helped me.
Such a beautiful passage of scripture that really does take on greater depths in this moment.
Whatever good I do here or anywhere is part of my mother’s legacy. She was my biggest fan. She would print these newsletters out every week, punch holes in the sheets of paper, and put them in a binder. Typing this makes me teary. But it’s one more little thing I want to share and remember.
"The Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek: he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to comfort all that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." Is 61: 1-3 KJV Sharing in your grief with you, Karen, and praying for you and your family.
Our language uses the same word for such different emotions. I miss my parents, but the strongest feeling i have is gratitude, so the loss is always softened by that somehow. May the God of all comfort give you all you need as you grieve.
Thank you for naming here something so important. Something so manny of us have experienced. pure grief is holy and excruciating. The grief that is the result of abuse, abandonment, lies and betrayal festers. It seems to linger long and threaten. It really is foul. I pray the sweet work of the cross of Christ would sweet and cleanse those bitter waters of foul grief. Oh for Resurrection Day!
I’ve used the word “excruciating” so often to describe this end-of-life experience. It’s a word whose root means “cross” which is so apt for holy pain.
Thank you for sharing your experience and insights here.
I confess that when I first read this post in the context of its title, I was perplexed. By "foul grief", I thought you were lamenting the grief of what unfolded 2022 being newly recalled in the wake of your current grief, as bad or sinful experience in itself. But as I read more carefully, what I realized is that you were powerfully describing the way the somatic experience of grief in the present can trigger memories of a similar experience in the past, even ones with a very different cause.
Your past grief experience was catalyzed by the egregious sins of betrayal and abandonment committed by others against you. As you are now going through another season of grief with, no doubt, all of the same somatic markers of the previous one, it's entirely natural for your mind and body to recognize this experience as familiar. Through no fault of your own, for a little while your present grief was befouled by fresh recollection of the pain of deep hurt from sinful harm done to you in the past, and it took it a little while to sort through.
I don't think it's too dramatic to suggest that beyond this being a natural physical response, it was also spiritual in nature. This was a type of "flaming arrow of the evil one", per Ephesians 6 - deployed in an attempt to disrupt or pollute the sacredness of your current sorrow. And with the shield of your faith in Jesus stronger than ever, you extinguished it.
May the Lord bless you and continue to strengthen you with His vast strength, just as He is doing even now.
Amen. Thank you, friend. It was a little of both. The similarities and differences were apparent from the start and I had to sort through what was happening.
🫶 Your feelings about pure vs. foul grief are spot on. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. 🫶
🫶🫶🫶
Karen, the grief you feel at the loss of your mother will no doubt last a long time.... as it should. Even when we're prepared, we're still not prepared. And thank you for sharing this beautiful reflection, offering us a glimpse into 'pure' grief and foul. Dear God, how you have experienced the difference. Praying Jesus will be close and you'll feel His arms wrapping around you.
The Lord does indeed know. It helps to be reminded of this truth.
Look forward to your run photos and the ones of the garden, plants and flowers. Spring will be like none you’ve experienced before. Resurrection born from deep grief has weight to its joy.
Beautiful encouragement. Thank you.
I also have felt the stark difference between pure grief and foul grief. Thank you for putting this into words. I'm grateful for the light you shine in the world. You and your family are in my prayers for comfort and peace.
Thank you for the prayers and for the words of encouragement.
I hope the service was a blessing. I have attended the funerals of so many beloved relatives and friends who died in the Lord and the readings of I Thessalonians 1:13-18 always brings a sensation of joy and sorrow together:
'But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
'For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.'
The hope of that resurrection and the righting of all wrongs, is what purifies the sorrow. Thank you for your posts here, they have helped me.
Such a beautiful passage of scripture that really does take on greater depths in this moment.
Whatever good I do here or anywhere is part of my mother’s legacy. She was my biggest fan. She would print these newsletters out every week, punch holes in the sheets of paper, and put them in a binder. Typing this makes me teary. But it’s one more little thing I want to share and remember.
"The Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek: he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to comfort all that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." Is 61: 1-3 KJV Sharing in your grief with you, Karen, and praying for you and your family.
Amen. Amen.
Our language uses the same word for such different emotions. I miss my parents, but the strongest feeling i have is gratitude, so the loss is always softened by that somehow. May the God of all comfort give you all you need as you grieve.
Such a good insight about the limits of our language here.
No loss in the world compares to losing your Mother. Praying for you, as we all step heavenward.
Thank you. 🙏
Thank you for naming here something so important. Something so manny of us have experienced. pure grief is holy and excruciating. The grief that is the result of abuse, abandonment, lies and betrayal festers. It seems to linger long and threaten. It really is foul. I pray the sweet work of the cross of Christ would sweet and cleanse those bitter waters of foul grief. Oh for Resurrection Day!
I’ve used the word “excruciating” so often to describe this end-of-life experience. It’s a word whose root means “cross” which is so apt for holy pain.
Thank you for sharing your experience and insights here.
Beautiful. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you, friend.
I confess that when I first read this post in the context of its title, I was perplexed. By "foul grief", I thought you were lamenting the grief of what unfolded 2022 being newly recalled in the wake of your current grief, as bad or sinful experience in itself. But as I read more carefully, what I realized is that you were powerfully describing the way the somatic experience of grief in the present can trigger memories of a similar experience in the past, even ones with a very different cause.
Your past grief experience was catalyzed by the egregious sins of betrayal and abandonment committed by others against you. As you are now going through another season of grief with, no doubt, all of the same somatic markers of the previous one, it's entirely natural for your mind and body to recognize this experience as familiar. Through no fault of your own, for a little while your present grief was befouled by fresh recollection of the pain of deep hurt from sinful harm done to you in the past, and it took it a little while to sort through.
I don't think it's too dramatic to suggest that beyond this being a natural physical response, it was also spiritual in nature. This was a type of "flaming arrow of the evil one", per Ephesians 6 - deployed in an attempt to disrupt or pollute the sacredness of your current sorrow. And with the shield of your faith in Jesus stronger than ever, you extinguished it.
May the Lord bless you and continue to strengthen you with His vast strength, just as He is doing even now.
Amen. Thank you, friend. It was a little of both. The similarities and differences were apparent from the start and I had to sort through what was happening.
I am very sorry, she sounded an inspirational woman
She was.
Sending much love and continued prayers. I’m glad you gave yourself space. ❤️🩹🫂🙏🏻
Thank you for saying that. I almost didn’t give myself the space. How silly that would have been.