I am sorry you went through betrayal trauma, Karen. Yes, it IS awful. When we met in D.C. in 2018, I was in the middle of the end of a 36-year marriage. The quote about how “God has removed you from a table where you used to sit..." resonates.
I am praying that this new start which is undergirded by retreat will be marked by comforting stability. I'm in a similar season, reorienting priorities (look at the root of that word!), considering what is truly of value in this season of life and moving forward.
I know 58 seems like a late in life time to start over, but I have been inspired by many women who have begun new adventures when they were, ahem, more mature. I went back to college in my 50s after being a homeschool mom to 10, getting my undergraduate degree online from Liberty University (ha, ha!), then my Master's degree from a seminary, finally getting licensed as a marriage and family therapist at 59. I've had a private practice for 2 1/2 years and just finished teaching human sexuality to graduate students preparing to become therapists at a local Christian university. Imagine that...I only got a college degree a few years ago, and I designed and taught a Master's level college course! It's ridiculous, in the best way.
Carmon, I'm sorry for what you went through, but know that I see you--and seeing you and others who have been betrayed and thrived on the other side inspire me and help me!
Loved your story! I’m with you! At 53 I went back to grad school to become a speech language pathologist in rural schools. What an eye opener as I stepped out of my comfortable world. ‘ Probably the best thing I could have done. He motivated, guided and aided me all the way as he did you and is with Karen. Deep and rich years.
This is encouraging, knowing others have had these blessed disruptions before and have found deep riches. I sense and see this in my life already! Thanks for sharing this!
I feel I’m standing on holy ground here, Karen. If this essay is an indication of things to come, we’re all in for an enlivening transformation. The world needs your clean, strong, uplifting voice. And a greater percentage of the world will now hear it. Grateful!
Karen, this is heartbreaking and beautiful at the same ttime. I despise what you have been through, caused by those who claim the name of Christ but look nothing like Him.
Jesus has a new path for you, and for each one of the naysayers, there are countless others who have been touched by your teaching, your writing, and your presence.
I am blessed to have met you at this "sidetrack" in your life, and look forward to seeing where the next leg of this journey takes you, my friend!
Karen, I’m looking forward to your new adventure! You are still a “young lady” from my perspective. You know my academic background and career teaching, but lately completed an MDiv at age 74 and recently (at 75) added training as an ordained Animal Chaplain — I’d love to share more about that with you sometime. Blessings on your new endeavors.
Wisdom forged in pain is such a bittersweet gift. It's hard to imagine, but there are many of us who have been promoting you, sharing your books, and amplifying your voice in our communities. While the loud detractors land the hardest blows, your biggest supporters work silently. I hate that that's how it works, but sadly, it is. I am so thankful that you've started The Priory. It will be a refuge for all of us who have benefited from your wisdom, but, maybe even more importantly, a source of encouragement and support for you as you continue your essential work.
I would never have dared do a newsletter like this if it weren't for folks like you who already believed in me. Thank you! I pray you find a refuge here.
Your desire to be the prioress of your soul reminds me of a lecture given by Marilynne Robinson a few years back. One theme of her lecture was the idea that the joy and privilege of her life has been related to her conscious choice to ‘tend to her soul’. The evidence of Ms. Robinson’s tending to her soul is, I think, expressed in her unapologetically Christian body of work. Robinson demonstrates through her books that there is tremendous strength in Christian thought,teaching, and living. It holds up against the stresses and failures of the human condition and comes out of the fray injured perhaps, but intact.
May your time spent in the Priory be one of joy and healing.
I’m so sorry for all the hard things you have experienced over the last many years. It’s been heartbreaking to witness. I’m thankful that you’re here now, sharing with us in this way. I’m eager to see how this next season unfolds for you, and hopeful that this retreating will bear the sweetest fruit in your life, and also in ours as you share what wisdom comes.
I'm anticipating good, deep things ahead, Karen. Sitting with open hands with and for you today. Retreat well. Linger, read, do what brings Karen alive. And oh - my dad was a manager at Howard Johnson's long before I was born.
A holy priory, a magic well, a source of truth, a mighty spell: a new age begins. The world of men is passing, and the time of the true Human is coming, born from a body of truth, shining light from eyes fastened on Lady Wisdom, the great Enchantress, from Boethius to Chaucer, who brings Words of Life from heaven to feed heart’s hungry for wholeness.
Yesterday at the end of my yoga class, our substitute teacher (a young, bubbly thing) played "The Age of Aquarius" and invited us all to dance. It was a God wink. I did dance.
If you have access to it, you might find Wendell Berry's Sabbath Poem 1982 VI worth a read, it seems to me to have much to speak to what you describe in this post and the place you find yourself in. The Lord bless you.
I looked for it and ended up accidentally reading IV (couldn’t find VI) so I had to double check your message because the one I did read made me tear up. It was perfect. So thank you. Wendell Berry is such an inspiration.
I finally got to read and sit with this poem, and will be sitting with it for a while. It is tremendously deep and profound. Tremendously. The part that really hits hard is this:
Wrong was easy; gravity helped it.
Right is difficult and long.
In choosing what is difficult
we are free, the mind too
making its little flight
out from the shadow into the clear
in time between work and sleep.
Such truth here. And so, so much grace in what follows. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with me. Berry is always good, but this is magnificent.
So thankful you found it to be so. I doubt he intended it - yet maybe he did - but the way his reflections on the 'agrarian industrial complex' evoke fruitful, if fearful, comparisons with the evangelical variety is quite striking. The fact that those who recklessly dragged stones out of furrows, "who cleared and broke these fields, saw them go to ruin", are now simply "names on stones" is truly solemn and deeply humbling. But, as you say, there is so much grace here, amid the pain, and so we have and are held by hope.
It's a pleasure, Karen. Feel similarly about it, currently reading through the collected Sabbath poems (one a day) and there are many that make an impact but this one really stands out, there's so much to it. Maybe the basis for an extended magazine article by an English professor?? The fact they're dated by year has me recalling what was happening in the world, mine and more broadly, when these poems were written. This one dates from "the hour-before-dawn dark" (Ted Hughes, The Horses) of my own days, which adds another dense layer for reflection.
I too had to step away from a table a few years ago. It was a leap of faith, because I didn’t know if I would find another good outlet for my writing - to express what was so important to me in a way that benefits the Church. I had almost two years in a priory phase of my own. Now, God has brought me to some other tables, which feels like such a fantastic blessing: a gift I don’t really deserve. So far, I am fed well at these tables. But I admit, I do sometimes think about the old table and the great meals I would have there with people I cared about, and while at the end the food was rotten, it was not so bad at the beginning. I miss those good meals with friends. But God is teaching me the difficult lesson of how to treasure the good parts of former experiences while also acknowledging the bad, and to be grateful for what was good despite how things ended. I think that is actually a humanly impossible task, but the Spirit can work this healing. I pray that you too will find other tables at which you can sit with dear friends and feast together.
I am so sorry for what you’ve experienced. But I know God will bring good from it and am really looking forward to this newsletter! I am at a similar stage in life (I’m 59) with similar interests and have had some similar experiences, so I think it will be very encouraging!
Thank you for the solidarity and empathy. And for joining me here! I can already see, feel, and sense that God is doing something and I am excited about it. Thank you for joining me here on the journey!
I still think fondly of the semester I had you for Religious Themes in Literature. God bless you as you start your new chapter in life, and may you find fulfillment in every way.
I am sorry you went through betrayal trauma, Karen. Yes, it IS awful. When we met in D.C. in 2018, I was in the middle of the end of a 36-year marriage. The quote about how “God has removed you from a table where you used to sit..." resonates.
I am praying that this new start which is undergirded by retreat will be marked by comforting stability. I'm in a similar season, reorienting priorities (look at the root of that word!), considering what is truly of value in this season of life and moving forward.
I know 58 seems like a late in life time to start over, but I have been inspired by many women who have begun new adventures when they were, ahem, more mature. I went back to college in my 50s after being a homeschool mom to 10, getting my undergraduate degree online from Liberty University (ha, ha!), then my Master's degree from a seminary, finally getting licensed as a marriage and family therapist at 59. I've had a private practice for 2 1/2 years and just finished teaching human sexuality to graduate students preparing to become therapists at a local Christian university. Imagine that...I only got a college degree a few years ago, and I designed and taught a Master's level college course! It's ridiculous, in the best way.
You got this. Lots of people are rooting for you.
Carmon, I'm sorry for what you went through, but know that I see you--and seeing you and others who have been betrayed and thrived on the other side inspire me and help me!
Loved your story! I’m with you! At 53 I went back to grad school to become a speech language pathologist in rural schools. What an eye opener as I stepped out of my comfortable world. ‘ Probably the best thing I could have done. He motivated, guided and aided me all the way as he did you and is with Karen. Deep and rich years.
This is encouraging, knowing others have had these blessed disruptions before and have found deep riches. I sense and see this in my life already! Thanks for sharing this!
I feel I’m standing on holy ground here, Karen. If this essay is an indication of things to come, we’re all in for an enlivening transformation. The world needs your clean, strong, uplifting voice. And a greater percentage of the world will now hear it. Grateful!
Wow. This means so much. Thank you. I hope and pray I can continue to write in the strength and power I drew on for this one.
Karen, this is heartbreaking and beautiful at the same ttime. I despise what you have been through, caused by those who claim the name of Christ but look nothing like Him.
Jesus has a new path for you, and for each one of the naysayers, there are countless others who have been touched by your teaching, your writing, and your presence.
I am blessed to have met you at this "sidetrack" in your life, and look forward to seeing where the next leg of this journey takes you, my friend!
So grateful for our new friendship, Melissa!
Karen, I’m looking forward to your new adventure! You are still a “young lady” from my perspective. You know my academic background and career teaching, but lately completed an MDiv at age 74 and recently (at 75) added training as an ordained Animal Chaplain — I’d love to share more about that with you sometime. Blessings on your new endeavors.
I love this! Thank you for sharing it.
Thankful for your friendship over all these years, Terri!
Wisdom forged in pain is such a bittersweet gift. It's hard to imagine, but there are many of us who have been promoting you, sharing your books, and amplifying your voice in our communities. While the loud detractors land the hardest blows, your biggest supporters work silently. I hate that that's how it works, but sadly, it is. I am so thankful that you've started The Priory. It will be a refuge for all of us who have benefited from your wisdom, but, maybe even more importantly, a source of encouragement and support for you as you continue your essential work.
I would never have dared do a newsletter like this if it weren't for folks like you who already believed in me. Thank you! I pray you find a refuge here.
Thanks for inviting us to the Priory, Karen.
Your desire to be the prioress of your soul reminds me of a lecture given by Marilynne Robinson a few years back. One theme of her lecture was the idea that the joy and privilege of her life has been related to her conscious choice to ‘tend to her soul’. The evidence of Ms. Robinson’s tending to her soul is, I think, expressed in her unapologetically Christian body of work. Robinson demonstrates through her books that there is tremendous strength in Christian thought,teaching, and living. It holds up against the stresses and failures of the human condition and comes out of the fray injured perhaps, but intact.
May your time spent in the Priory be one of joy and healing.
What an inspiring example MR gives us! Thank you for this.
Reading through Psalm 119 after reading your piece.
... “Who seek Him with all their heart.”
Enjoy retreating, cultivating, planting...
And wearing yellow skirts! Love it!
:)
I’m so sorry for all the hard things you have experienced over the last many years. It’s been heartbreaking to witness. I’m thankful that you’re here now, sharing with us in this way. I’m eager to see how this next season unfolds for you, and hopeful that this retreating will bear the sweetest fruit in your life, and also in ours as you share what wisdom comes.
Thank you for bearing witness.
I'm anticipating good, deep things ahead, Karen. Sitting with open hands with and for you today. Retreat well. Linger, read, do what brings Karen alive. And oh - my dad was a manager at Howard Johnson's long before I was born.
HOJO's FTW!
My prayers for you go on... God is faithful and true.
A holy priory, a magic well, a source of truth, a mighty spell: a new age begins. The world of men is passing, and the time of the true Human is coming, born from a body of truth, shining light from eyes fastened on Lady Wisdom, the great Enchantress, from Boethius to Chaucer, who brings Words of Life from heaven to feed heart’s hungry for wholeness.
Yesterday at the end of my yoga class, our substitute teacher (a young, bubbly thing) played "The Age of Aquarius" and invited us all to dance. It was a God wink. I did dance.
I love it!
If you have access to it, you might find Wendell Berry's Sabbath Poem 1982 VI worth a read, it seems to me to have much to speak to what you describe in this post and the place you find yourself in. The Lord bless you.
I looked for it and ended up accidentally reading IV (couldn’t find VI) so I had to double check your message because the one I did read made me tear up. It was perfect. So thank you. Wendell Berry is such an inspiration.
Sounds like it was providential to read IV instead of VI :) In case you'd like to glance at VI, you can find it here: https://thewaitingcountry.blogspot.com/2023/08/wendell-berry-sabbath-poems-1982-vi.html
I finally got to read and sit with this poem, and will be sitting with it for a while. It is tremendously deep and profound. Tremendously. The part that really hits hard is this:
Wrong was easy; gravity helped it.
Right is difficult and long.
In choosing what is difficult
we are free, the mind too
making its little flight
out from the shadow into the clear
in time between work and sleep.
Such truth here. And so, so much grace in what follows. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with me. Berry is always good, but this is magnificent.
So thankful you found it to be so. I doubt he intended it - yet maybe he did - but the way his reflections on the 'agrarian industrial complex' evoke fruitful, if fearful, comparisons with the evangelical variety is quite striking. The fact that those who recklessly dragged stones out of furrows, "who cleared and broke these fields, saw them go to ruin", are now simply "names on stones" is truly solemn and deeply humbling. But, as you say, there is so much grace here, amid the pain, and so we have and are held by hope.
Re-reading this now and just awed by the poem. Thank you again for bringing it to me.
It's a pleasure, Karen. Feel similarly about it, currently reading through the collected Sabbath poems (one a day) and there are many that make an impact but this one really stands out, there's so much to it. Maybe the basis for an extended magazine article by an English professor?? The fact they're dated by year has me recalling what was happening in the world, mine and more broadly, when these poems were written. This one dates from "the hour-before-dawn dark" (Ted Hughes, The Horses) of my own days, which adds another dense layer for reflection.
Truly, truly. That connection between the two complexes (again, whether intentional or not) is so powerful and sobering.
Bravo ... says the 59-year-old, self-employed lover of words and all things beautiful. This is gonna be good!
💛
I too had to step away from a table a few years ago. It was a leap of faith, because I didn’t know if I would find another good outlet for my writing - to express what was so important to me in a way that benefits the Church. I had almost two years in a priory phase of my own. Now, God has brought me to some other tables, which feels like such a fantastic blessing: a gift I don’t really deserve. So far, I am fed well at these tables. But I admit, I do sometimes think about the old table and the great meals I would have there with people I cared about, and while at the end the food was rotten, it was not so bad at the beginning. I miss those good meals with friends. But God is teaching me the difficult lesson of how to treasure the good parts of former experiences while also acknowledging the bad, and to be grateful for what was good despite how things ended. I think that is actually a humanly impossible task, but the Spirit can work this healing. I pray that you too will find other tables at which you can sit with dear friends and feast together.
That seems like a good dose of hope and realism. Thank you. We all need both.
I am so sorry for what you’ve experienced. But I know God will bring good from it and am really looking forward to this newsletter! I am at a similar stage in life (I’m 59) with similar interests and have had some similar experiences, so I think it will be very encouraging!
Thank you for the solidarity and empathy. And for joining me here! I can already see, feel, and sense that God is doing something and I am excited about it. Thank you for joining me here on the journey!
I still think fondly of the semester I had you for Religious Themes in Literature. God bless you as you start your new chapter in life, and may you find fulfillment in every way.
This is so kind and so encouraging. It means a lot. Thank you.