Love this piece. You really are onto something here. Back in the early 2000s, church really was our family’s life. I worked as a family physician, but my husband stayed at home to homeschool the kids and was an elder in the church. Everything else revolved around church. It really was our entire life. Looking back I wish we had done a better job of being part of our community. I don’t regret homeschooling, just how much we were church-focused. I don’t regret going to church, just how often and how much it dominated our lives. I wish our kids knew other kids in the community besides their church friends. I wish I had had friends outside of church and work. Our church did good things in the community, but so did lots of other organizations. Our church was siloed off; we did our own food pantry and our own ministries instead of working with the rest of the town. I’m pretty sure that Jesus would have wanted us (our family and probably our church) to be more outward focused than we were. Twenty-five years later, we’re no longer evangelical because of theological and social (i.e. Trump and politics) reasons, so we’re part of a tiny little PCUSA church that couldn’t dominate our lives if it tried. My parents are worried about our salvation, but I’m pretty sure Jesus is OK with us not being enmeshed in a church. We can and should be part of the larger village/town/community/city. And not because we need those other people to be our “projects,” but because God put us in society. That’s where we are to live and love. (Sorry to write a book. Kind of hit a nerve here.)
No, I appreciate your “book”! I really am continuing to process my thoughts on this topic and the ongoing conversation is really helping. I’ve never lived the life you describe yet have lived and worked in communities that do. So I have felt “other,” while also being curious, while also being critical.
A friend comment on FB that part of all this is the consumerist posture we bring to church and that’s a point I didn’t consider but I think is part of the story.
Somehow there is (or should be) a way to really Bo in church community and the larger community too. I think you describe it well. So thank you for chiming in.
This must make it incredibly difficult to leave a toxic church , if you are losing all your friends, potential dates, financial advisor , exercise group etc all at the same time
I agree the church shouldn't be our social club. But, based on the descriptions in the book of Acts, it should be the core of our local community. Church members shouldn't be guilted into perpetually volunteering at dozens of church 'programs', but they should be able to use their gifts to benefit others in their community. In the early church accounts, we see each using what they had for the benefit of all, not out of obligation, but out of love for one another. In order to show love one another, there must be opportunity to both give and receive.
This is actually something I feel keenly in my own profession. Nursing, as in the care of the sick, was once a part of service in the church, but is no longer. The only place where I can directly offer my skills to the church is in the context of overseas mission work, not in my local assembly.
Note: my professional regulatory body does recognise parish nursing as a valid area of practice, but it is not one I have ever seen used in the evangelical-adjacent churches I have attended.
Yes! This is exactly so. It’s such a hard needle to thread in that our modern categories and terms don’t match the ancient ones. But the idea of nurses bringing their gifts and skills to the congregation is very powerful and right, I think. Christians should do that sort of thing as easily and comfortably as they bring them out into the world to serve their neighbors. I had never heard of parish nurses until moving to the south. My former church and my parents’ church both had them and still use the terminology, but I don’t know that there is a robust ministry for them anymore. The one remaining parish nurse I know came out several times to visit my mom. 🤍
Karen, first off-ugh. Sugar Daddies stick to your teeth and can take out a filling. Never liked them.
As to your essay, which I will admit I only read the snippets' worth you included, definitely resonates.
I think, to Holly's point below, the church should be a body where the gifts God has given each other should serve not only the body, but the community.
It should not be the other way around--where culture infiltrates the confines or walls of the church building and becomes--as you allude to--an exercise/yoga center, a crafters club, a source of political information and what have you.
Indeed, sticky wickets (or threads) to deal with these days.... And I believe it will continue to be so as God refines us. There's a reason Scripture says in the last days the cleansing will begin with God's people.... We have much to continually be washed from!
Another wonderfully thoughtful question Karen. Thank you.
My short answer to your question is no.
In an old play entitled The Search For Signs of Life in the Universe the character states, “When I was younger I decided I wanted to be someone. Now that I am older I wish that I had been more specific.”
My sense is that so much of the Church has become untethered from its true purpose and in the quest for” relevance” seeks to become everything to everyone including the establishment of a Christian getto untouched and unknown by their neighbours who they are called to be salt and light.
In the end, the Church will be best served by being itself, which includes the giftedness of many who bring their gifts in service to many.
My pastor once gave me great advice that works here. Be yourself.Everyone else is already taken.
Love this piece. You really are onto something here. Back in the early 2000s, church really was our family’s life. I worked as a family physician, but my husband stayed at home to homeschool the kids and was an elder in the church. Everything else revolved around church. It really was our entire life. Looking back I wish we had done a better job of being part of our community. I don’t regret homeschooling, just how much we were church-focused. I don’t regret going to church, just how often and how much it dominated our lives. I wish our kids knew other kids in the community besides their church friends. I wish I had had friends outside of church and work. Our church did good things in the community, but so did lots of other organizations. Our church was siloed off; we did our own food pantry and our own ministries instead of working with the rest of the town. I’m pretty sure that Jesus would have wanted us (our family and probably our church) to be more outward focused than we were. Twenty-five years later, we’re no longer evangelical because of theological and social (i.e. Trump and politics) reasons, so we’re part of a tiny little PCUSA church that couldn’t dominate our lives if it tried. My parents are worried about our salvation, but I’m pretty sure Jesus is OK with us not being enmeshed in a church. We can and should be part of the larger village/town/community/city. And not because we need those other people to be our “projects,” but because God put us in society. That’s where we are to live and love. (Sorry to write a book. Kind of hit a nerve here.)
No, I appreciate your “book”! I really am continuing to process my thoughts on this topic and the ongoing conversation is really helping. I’ve never lived the life you describe yet have lived and worked in communities that do. So I have felt “other,” while also being curious, while also being critical.
A friend comment on FB that part of all this is the consumerist posture we bring to church and that’s a point I didn’t consider but I think is part of the story.
Somehow there is (or should be) a way to really Bo in church community and the larger community too. I think you describe it well. So thank you for chiming in.
Also, all candy should be Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
CCM
🤣😋
This must make it incredibly difficult to leave a toxic church , if you are losing all your friends, potential dates, financial advisor , exercise group etc all at the same time
😮💨
I agree the church shouldn't be our social club. But, based on the descriptions in the book of Acts, it should be the core of our local community. Church members shouldn't be guilted into perpetually volunteering at dozens of church 'programs', but they should be able to use their gifts to benefit others in their community. In the early church accounts, we see each using what they had for the benefit of all, not out of obligation, but out of love for one another. In order to show love one another, there must be opportunity to both give and receive.
This is actually something I feel keenly in my own profession. Nursing, as in the care of the sick, was once a part of service in the church, but is no longer. The only place where I can directly offer my skills to the church is in the context of overseas mission work, not in my local assembly.
Note: my professional regulatory body does recognise parish nursing as a valid area of practice, but it is not one I have ever seen used in the evangelical-adjacent churches I have attended.
Yes! This is exactly so. It’s such a hard needle to thread in that our modern categories and terms don’t match the ancient ones. But the idea of nurses bringing their gifts and skills to the congregation is very powerful and right, I think. Christians should do that sort of thing as easily and comfortably as they bring them out into the world to serve their neighbors. I had never heard of parish nurses until moving to the south. My former church and my parents’ church both had them and still use the terminology, but I don’t know that there is a robust ministry for them anymore. The one remaining parish nurse I know came out several times to visit my mom. 🤍
Karen, first off-ugh. Sugar Daddies stick to your teeth and can take out a filling. Never liked them.
As to your essay, which I will admit I only read the snippets' worth you included, definitely resonates.
I think, to Holly's point below, the church should be a body where the gifts God has given each other should serve not only the body, but the community.
It should not be the other way around--where culture infiltrates the confines or walls of the church building and becomes--as you allude to--an exercise/yoga center, a crafters club, a source of political information and what have you.
Indeed, sticky wickets (or threads) to deal with these days.... And I believe it will continue to be so as God refines us. There's a reason Scripture says in the last days the cleansing will begin with God's people.... We have much to continually be washed from!
Amen, Jody!
Another wonderfully thoughtful question Karen. Thank you.
My short answer to your question is no.
In an old play entitled The Search For Signs of Life in the Universe the character states, “When I was younger I decided I wanted to be someone. Now that I am older I wish that I had been more specific.”
My sense is that so much of the Church has become untethered from its true purpose and in the quest for” relevance” seeks to become everything to everyone including the establishment of a Christian getto untouched and unknown by their neighbours who they are called to be salt and light.
In the end, the Church will be best served by being itself, which includes the giftedness of many who bring their gifts in service to many.
My pastor once gave me great advice that works here. Be yourself.Everyone else is already taken.
Let the Church be the Church.
I love little kid candy. I am actually chewing on some sour gummies now. I'm not a lot a fan of Sugar Daddies either. :-) I loved the article.