A while back when I was sharing yet another update on my not-then-but-now-published book, You Have a Calling,
replied with enthusiasm and curiosity rooted in her own questions and challenges around vocation. That reply is actually what gave me the idea to do this series! Grace was the first I asked to participate (all those months ago!), so I am thrilled to bring you her thoughtful, and at times vulnerable, answers to my questions about calling. (All photos courtesy of Grace Leuenberger)I’m also thrilled that today’s newsletter (and the rest of this series of interviews on calling) is being sponsored by award-winning Common Good magazine. Common Good offers some of the best writing and analysis out there on art, culture, theology, and—you guessed it—vocation. They are a “a magazine for all of life” and honestly, that really does capture the spirit of the publication. Common Good is making a special offer to readers of The Priory (and you won’t believe this): a subscription to the magazine for ONE DOLLAR. Yes, you read that correctly. One buck. Just use this code: KSPCG
I’m actually going to be snagging one of these subscriptions for myself because I’m on their email list, and the last couple of times I clicked on the link to an awesome-sounding article, I got the message that I was out of free articles! (I’m really honored and thankful that Common Good is partnering with me here in a way that helps me continue to offer my posts free to all of my readers. Thank you, Common Good and all of you dear readers who contribute financially to this work!)
Now, on to my interview with Grace!
Tell us a bit about yourself in a few sentences.
I’m Grace, a 31-year-old Western Pennsylvanian now living in a charming college town in northeast Ohio with my geriatric golden retriever, Tess. I’m an aunt to two nieces and five nephews, and was raised as a pastor’s kid alongside my three older brothers. I’m employed as a senior visual designer for a 100,000-person health system, where I’ve worked in some capacity for the last 10 years. Outside of my job, I enjoy distance running, cooking and baking, traveling, reading, and writing.
How do you think about calling (or vocation) generally?
My current understanding of calling is when God uses the scenarios and settings of our lives, as well as our temperament and talents, to be a means of service and worship. However, my former framework for calling was much more formulaic. During college, I thought calling was about finding “the one”—that is to say, the one career path that would feel right, please God, impress others, provide financial stability and fulfillment, etc.. The amount of time and effort someone allotted to something meant that that was their calling. In that sense, calling was something that you could put on a name tag or a LinkedIn title or easily share in an icebreaker. Calling=career.
My understanding of calling evolved over time because I was both disappointed and delighted that things in my life did not work out on a tidy timeline or in an orderly fashion. My twenties were a time of God loosening my grip on what I believed was the right way to live and work as a Christian by showing me the freedom he gives to his children to ditch the formula in favor of faithfulness by many means.
How do you think about calling in your own life?
Last year, I heard a quote in a sermon that has stuck with me and formed much of my recent thoughts about calling: “One of the greatest giftings we have is our availability.” While I don’t know if I’m right, I’ve landed on a belief that being available is my highest calling. I think that God really wants me to experience what it means to be content with Christ and to be attentive to the life I am experiencing right now, instead of fixating on the ideas of what could’ve been or was or could be.
That’s why I like to think of calling from a place of both duty and delight. I am called to serve my family and my community—as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a neighbor. Some of that calling can honestly be quite challenging and heart-wrenching—a duty more than a delight. This is where God refines me the most and where my prayers are simply, “Help me, God!” But other times, it is pure delight to lean into my calling as a daughter, sister, etc.. A few times a year, I fly to California to visit my brother and his family, and I get to do things like help my 4-year-old niece get ready for school, feed my 1-year-old nephew a snack, converse with my sister-in-law on a run, or encourage my brother in his job; that is a true joy. I also have roles in my life that are a part of my calling, like my paid employment, unpaid writing, opening up my home to guests, maintaining friendships, and much more. I used to think of calling with a very narrow and focused mindset, but now I think it’s a spacious thing.
What are some primary callings you’ve followed over the course of your life?
This feels like a tricky question to answer because I think identity (or maybe more so identity-signifiers) and calling feel like they like to mix and mingle. I don’t know if it’s the right impulse, but I couldn’t help but want to rattle off a list of what I perceive as primary callings: sister, daughter, aunt, friend, student, designer, writer, host. I’ve always been a person who was interested in and excited about so many things—ministry, higher education, design, writing, nonprofits and small businesses, the arts, the outdoors. I also love my family and cherish my friendships, and have found myself making both major and minor life decisions based on a desire to maintain and prioritize those relationships over career advancement or even certain creative pursuits.
From a more traditional perspective on “primary calling,” I’ll add that during my first five years out of school, I held five different jobs. I was a marketing associate at an inner-city Christian ministry, a project coordinator for a healthcare company, a marketing/design fellow at a Christian nonprofit in Nashville, a project manager at a small design studio, and finally, I boomeranged back to my healthcare job in February of 2020, and it’s where I’ve been ever since.
Have any of those callings changed, ended, or otherwise shifted?
About halfway through my twenties, I ended up burning out in my “dream job” at a small graphic design studio and spiraling into the darkest six months of my life. It was then that I started wondering — in my own thoughts and in conversations with my friends — is “reaching my potential” really what life is about? Up until that point, I was still carrying a mindset from college that being the most ambitious and hardworking version of myself is what I should aspire towards. It was not sustainable.
After quitting that job, I’ve let a few dreams die and become okay with not “reaching my potential.” I’ve applied and gotten into grad school twice and not gone…twice. I’ve turned down freelance jobs that would’ve paid a lot because having too much work on my plate is extremely unhealthy for me, and I'm wary of having money become a motivating factor. I’ve considered moving from my community and decided I’ll stay, despite my lack of clarity on my long-term place in it. Lots of things have changed with my family and friends and even the world, but what hasn’t changed is the confidence that God has never let me down before, and he certainly won’t start now.
I’m currently five years into my current job, and my calling feels more spacious than it ever has. Since I am a remote employee, I have been able to build an incredibly vibrant life outside of the work I do for a living, and have enjoyed investing my time in things like training for marathons, cooking, and visiting with my family. While I do feel generally positive about my career contributions and I care about the quality of my work, it’s not the center of my life. I’m finding out that a pared-down life has room for rest, joy, and greater presence with the people right in front of me.
What difficulties have you experienced in finding or fulfilling a calling in your life?
In many ways, I think all those career changes I had in my early twenties were my attempt to find “the one”—that elusive job or career path that would finally feel like God’s perfect plan. While I don’t regret all the things I tried and the moves I made, I think I can say now that I was limited to a shallow and unimaginative understanding of how God faithfully forms me in all facets of my life. I evaluated a lot of my career experiences based on what they offered at face value instead of how they formed my character, or what friendships they helped foster, or even that they were fun! I was so hung up on fulfilling my purpose that I missed seeing how much potential every opportunity had to be honoring to God, in service to others, and a source of joy.
A second thing that comes to mind is that I had a lot of heartache and confusion when my calling didn’t align with what I saw others my age experiencing. I wasn’t a wife or a mother, nor was I a certified girl boss, or a very fast runner, or an awe-inspiring graphic designer, or a writer with a book deal—I was just normal me. Sometimes, I felt like I was wasting my time and freedom. I can see now that I was missing out on being present in the life God had me in because I was so fixed on finding the life I thought I should be in.
How has a particular calling surprised you?
The one calling that has been particularly surprising to me centers around my interest in food and cooking. I had essentially zero experience in the kitchen coming out of college, but the summer after I graduated, partially out of necessity and partially out of curiosity, I began to cook and bake in earnest. I learned that I love feeding people and making something that nourishes their bodies and brings them delight. I love making space for conversation that stretches from the dinner hour to our bedtimes. It feels like what I was made to do and a way to get outside of myself, too. I live so much of life in my head, and honestly, it’s incredibly exhausting! Cooking and hosting feel liberating—a way to come back into my body and into fellowship with others.
Beginning in August until mid-September, I’m actually following this calling to Ireland, where I’ll be enrolled in Ballymaloe Cookery School’s five-week culinary program. I know don’t have to do this program to feed people well or practice hospitality, but there’s something in me that knows that cooking and preparing things with my hands for people I care about is probably what I feel most confident I was made to do. I love it. I see this as a chance to chase something I love because it brings me joy, and I think it brings more joy to others.
What roles have other people played in helping you discern and follow a calling?
When I think about calling, I think a lot about my older brothers. They are all remarkable men, and they are also so different from each other. My oldest brother, Andy, is a doctor, practicing medicine in an urban setting with patients who have a variety of physical and mental health issues. My second brother, Josiah, is a pastor in California. My third brother, Sam, is a theater teacher. Each of them has meaningful work that takes up much of their day, but they’ve never let that be the only thing that defines their life or gives them fulfillment and purpose. Andy is a dad of four kids and spent the last nine months being a good husband to his wife as she went through breast cancer treatment. Josiah is also a dad, as well as an amazing runner and coach, and has a wealth of knowledge on the sport that he shares with his community in an inspiring and fun way. Sam is a writer who wakes up early every day before school to write stories and poems that are so incredibly creative. They have helped me discern and follow a calling just by living their lives as they have—faithfully and with trust that God will take care of the details. They have shown me that calling isn’t just about my career, but encompasses many parts of our lives and our love.
***
"Absolutely unmixed attention is prayer.” – Simone Weil1
What’s next:
I will continue this series of interviews with folks on their own callings for a couple of weeks. I hope these conversations encourage you in thinking about your own callings in life.
Come late August or September we will pick up our reading with the English Neoclassical poet Alexander Pope! We will start with An Essay on Man and see what your pleasure is from there, readers. I’m curious if you are familiar with Pope already, and if so if you enjoy him or not. If you don’t know him, I can’t wait to see what you think! Oscar Wilde was not a fan. He famously quipped, “There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”
The reviews of You Have a Calling are starting to roll in. I was gratified to receive this 5-star review straight out of the gate from The Gospel Coalition. Here’s a snippet:
“Prior’s approach goes beyond the basic discussion of vocation. She offers a distinctively moral account of calling, focusing on the classical transcendentals of truth, goodness, and beauty, which she interprets through the lens of Scripture and the Christian intellectual tradition. She devotes a chapter to each transcendental, though she emphasizes that none can be rightly understood apart from the others.”
Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace, trans. By Emma Crawford and Mario von der Ruhr (London: Routledge, 2002), 117.
I love, LOVE that you are going to cooking school in Ireland. That is so cool.